SFESurvey

Survey/Test Generator and Grader

Hot Manila's Quiz: How Filipino Are You?

Name:
Age:
Occupation:
Current nationality:

1. The US promises to give your country $55 million. Suddenly and without warning it halves this amount. What would YOU think?

a. Why those lying, untrustworthy finks

b. Who do they think they are?

c. We should be thankful those nice and wonderful people gave us something at all. It must have been something we did, we’re to blame. We should be ashamed of ourselves

2. With great power comes

a. Great responsibility

b. Great humility

c. Great opportunities

3. My attitude to all the corruption and inefficiency in my country’s government is

a. We need to change things at once and jail all these crooks!

b. Things will get better if we pray hard enough

c. Don’t worry be happy

4. In my country the best way to pay taxes is to

a. File early

b. File on the last day

c. I'm supposed to PAY taxes?

5. My country’s traffic problems would be solved if only

a. Everybody followed traffic rules

b. Traffic rules were enforced

c. All the other drivers acknowledged my superior driving skills

6. In my country, the best, most certain way to assure my loved ones’ financial future and security is to

a. Work hard and get insurance

b. Win the lotto

c. Become a congressman

7. In my country, public service is

a. A noble calling

b. Inefficient

c. I don’t know, I’ve never seen it

8. When holding a karaoke party with your friends in the middle of the night, you should -- bearing in mind you have neighbors sleeping -- set the volume at:

a. Soft

b. Loud

c. Homicidal

9. How many relatives do you have living in the United States?

a. None

b. Many

c. I AM in the United States

10. When going to an appointment it always pays to

a. Be early

b. Be punctual

c. Walk very, very slowly while taking deep breaths

11. My country’s national drink is

a. Coke

b. Milk

c. Buko juice

12. My country’s national fruit is

a. Apple

b. Mango

c. Pork

13. My favorite food seasoning is

a. Sugar

b. Salt

c. Sugar flavored salt with vinegar dressing

14. When somebody tells me that balut is boiled duck embryo eaten as a snack, I

a. Run away with my hands in my mouth

b. Exclaim - that sounds great!

c. Exclaim - that sounds great with salt!

15. A dog is

a. Man’s best friend

b. A pest that barks all night and keeps you awake

c. A good entrée

16. Drinking hard liquor is best reserved for occasions such as

a. Social gatherings

b. Going to nightclubs

c. Days of the week whose names end in day

17. Drinking beer is reserved for occasions such as

a. Nights out with friends

b. Before and after drinking hard liquor

c. Eating balut or a good entrée

18. When I have plenty of money I immediately

a. Go to the bank to put all of it in savings

b. Go to the bank to put some of it in savings

c. Go to the bank to borrow more money so I can buy that shiny new car and make all my neighbors envious

19. What makes you laugh the most?

a. Brilliant puns and verbal gags

b. Sitcoms

c. Morons doing a skit about bowel movement over and over

20. When I hear somebody near me say “psst” I

a. Avert my gaze because I don’t want trouble

b. Glare at the impolite boor making the rude noise

c. Immediately start knocking on the roof of the vehicle because a passenger wants to get off

21. Travelling to a foreign city, I find out that a countryman of mine is on the run from immigration authorities. I would NEVER think of betraying him because:

a. He's a fellow national

b. The reward isn't high enough

c. I’m also an illegal

22. Walking down the street I see an excited crowd gathered to watch two cocks equipped with razor sharp spikes on their legs gore each other to a bloody death. I quickly

a. Run as fast as I can to call the SPCA

b. Run as fast as I can to get my camera

c. Run as fast as I can to get money because white looks like a winner

23. You hear of a countryman who speaks 19 languages, holds four doctorates and is working on cold fusion. Without having seen him at all how would you instantly call him?

a. Brilliant

b. A credit to his race

c. Mayabang

24. When a lunatic with a knife seizes a hostage in your neighborhood, you

a. Go to your house and lock the door

b. Go to your house, lock the door and call the police

c. Go to your house and call all your friends and relatives to come over and join the fun, then rush back out to taunt the hostage taker and make faces at the TV cameras

25. When you go abroad your luggage contains

a. A few kilos of clothing

b. A few killos of clothing and some personal items

c. Many kilos of clothing, which you need for wrapping around the chicharon, tusino, taba ng talangka, bagoong and noodle packs

26. When returning from abroad your luggage consists of

a. Smelly clothes

b. Smelly clothes plus a few duty free items

c. Smelly clothes which you’re wearing, because you needed the luggage space for the chocolates, cigarettes, and liquor, and don’t forget the check-in TV, washing machine, stand fan, refrigerator and on yes the $4,000 in your socks

27. When you hold a family reunion, how many people show up?

a. Four or five

b. Six to ten

c. When you say “family “do you mean I should count third cousins twice removed, great grandnephews, half-sisters, godchildren and aunts I’d never seen in my life?

28. My country’s national sport is

a. Soccer

b. Basketball

c. Pusoy

29. I have faith in my country’s government because

a. I believe in our democratic system

b. I have no choice

c. I live in the US

30. I would be proud to call myself “Filipino” because

a. Of Filipino culture

b. Of Filipino attitude to life

c. I’ve already acquired American citizenship