Out of Focus

Humor

An officially approved bus tour of Manila

Thu, 12/07/2017 - 11:12

by Alan Robles

Mabuhay, everyone! Welcome aboard our bus for our special new tour of our WONDERFUL city of Manila.

I'm your guide, Derma Dementa of MyLabs Tours, and I'm HAPPY to show you around my FABULOUS city. You've probably heard all those nasty fake reports about murders and killings and whatnot -- THEY ARE LIES! LIES! ALL LIES!

Oh, I'm sorry sir! I didn't mean to make you jump like that. Did I startle you? Here, let me pick up your glasses.

If Facebook were a giant cruise ship

Thu, 12/07/2017 - 11:05

by Alan Robles

Captain: Ahoy everybody, this is Captain Clueless speaking! Welcome aboard SS Facebook, the world's largest social media cruise ship, currently carrying millions of passengers and constantly picking up even more. Your comfort and safety are our first concern...

First Officer: Captain!

Captain: What is it?

First Officer: A passenger is complaining she's being sexually harassed by some other passengers!

Saving the crook industry

Thu, 12/07/2017 - 10:55

by Alan Robles
Some weeks back, an editor friend went to a Quezon City address and parked his bicycle, chaining and locking it to a post. When he came back an hour later, he discovered he could no longer free his bike. A thief had tried to pick the lock, failed, but ended up jamming the lock. The editor had to find a hammer to break the chain.

I don't know about you but for me this incident rings alarm bells. Think carefully about the serious problem it calls attention to.

That's right: the quality of our crooks is deteriorating.

The Obosen Chronicles

Thu, 12/07/2017 - 10:46

by Alan Robles
In a coming US TV show episode, a fictitious American state secretary punches a fictitious Philippine president. Our government is angry about it. But why? Everyone can clearly see that it's fiction. If it were realistic, the scene would end with the Philippine president shooting the state secretary.

Anyway, the incident points to a crying need for one thing: a TV series that actually, honestly shows how this administration works.
As it so happens and by an amazing coincidence - yo Martin, where's the one thousand bucks? - we happen to have a script treatment right here! So without further ado, let's watch:

Questions and Answers about the DAP controversy

Thu, 08/07/2014 - 18:34
 
 
Seeking enlightenment on the contentious DAP issue, we enticed renowned and enigmatic media critic Justin Spinboogers, Esq, from his brooding seclusion  to give us, with his trademark incisive and trenchant wit, the benefit of his sober and dispassionate insight
 
Impeach?Mister Spinboogers, what is DAP?
I don't know, let's impeach the President!
 
Is the DAP constitutional?
I don't know, let's impeach the President!
 
Did the people benefit from DAP?
I don't know, let's impeach the President!
 

How's your dictator?

Fri, 07/25/2014 - 18:29
 
                                                                                                                            graphic from Fight Back
Dear Filipinos
We at Shatweak, Schwindle & Troll Political Consultancy Inc understand your country has just acquired a brand-new dictator. Congratulations! Please take this brief questionnaire to help us determine if your new dictator meets strict international standards.
 

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