Marcos and Beyond

Famous recipes from Martial Law

Mon, 03/07/2016 - 22:20
 
Recently, a Filipino cooking page on Facebook started spouting pro-Marcos gibberish and linked to the "top 10 establishments built under the Marcos regime."
 
You'd think that by "establishments" a cooking page would mean "resto", or "auberge" or even "carinderia", but no, it turns out it means "buildings". And the list isn't even complete - it doesn't mention the millions in sleazy kickbacks and commissions the Marcoses got for each project.
 
Anyway, what the FB page did is just plain WRONG. It's wrong because if you're a Filipino food recipe page, you shouldn't talk about Martial Law's construction projects: you should give examples of famous recipes from the dictatorship. Don't know any of those recipes? Well, lucky for you, those who experienced Martial Law do. Here are a few.

The Adventures of Plunderer's Boy

Sun, 11/22/2015 - 17:00
 
 
I've been reading Marcos comics. These are gripping black and white short untitled cartoon strips, circulated on social media, that supposedly show significant moments in the life of Ferdinand junior, aka Bongbong aka Baby, aka Mini Me.
 
The strips are drawn in a simple, cute way and are totally honest. For instance they depict the young Marcos with an oversized pumpkin-like head, which is exactly how people have always pictured Marcos junior. Should the unknown artist title the comic, he or she might consider naming it “Balloon Head” or maybe “The Life of Lobong Marcos Jr.” Me, I'd go with something punchier: “The Adventures of Plunderer's Boy.”

DND hearts dictator

Thu, 10/29/2015 - 19:00
 
September 11 marks the birth anniversary of the worst excuse for a president this country ever had: Ferdinand Marcos. He was a murderous, thieving, deceitful dictator whose regime brutally slaughtered at least 3,200 Filipinos and tortured tens of thousands more. He and his family stole up to US$10 billion, stashing the plunder abroad.
 
His record of crimes is well known to the whole world.
 
Apparently though, the Philippine Department of National Defense (DND) didn't get the memo.
 
In its website, the DND offers a biography of Marcos (http://www.dnd.gov.ph/ferdinand-e-marcos.html) that's only one soft lingering sweet kiss short of suck. The entry on the dictator, who once served as defense secretary, is so dirt-free even his own (also dead) mother would never recognize the whitewashed monster. "Ayy naku, sino yan", you can almost hear her screech in alarm.
 

Beware the Marcos Loyalist Virus

Sun, 10/25/2015 - 20:01
 
Ferdinand Marcos was a deceitful dictator whose regime brutally murdered at least 3,200 Filipinos and tortured and jailed tens of thousands more. He destroyed democracy and stole at least US$10 billion. Now, knowledge of these crimes is threatened by an insidious Marcos loyalist virus slowly infecting the population.
 
We talk to Dr. Albert Kasuka, who claims to have studied the spread of this brain wiping disease.

 

"What EDSA? What victims?" - Bongbong Marcos, in 1999

Sun, 10/25/2015 - 18:43
 
 
Martial Law's Human rights victims are motivated by greed. All they want is money. Wait, come to think of it, there probably AREN'T any human rights victims at all.. And oh yeah, EDSA 1986? That  was a "power grab."
 
Authentic words of wisdom coming to us from Ferdinand "Mini Me" Marcos jr 16 years ago, as reported in the Manila Times.
 
It was 1999, and the Marcoses were feeling very good about themselves. After all, not only were they back in power (Imelda and daughter Imee had gotten themselves elected to Congress),  Joseph Estrada had just won the presidency.  He was a friend of the Marcoses, and had said he wanted to have the repulsive dead dictator's decaying remains buried in a hero's grave at Libingan ng Mga Bayani. Apart from this, his administration was working on a "compromise agreement" that would see the government dropping all ill-gotten wealth cases against the Marcoses, who would be allowed to hang on to a generous portion of their plundered wealth.

Spin doctors overjoyed Bongbong Marcos finally has a really thick face

Thu, 10/01/2015 - 14:00
 
Spin doctors of Ferdinand "Bongbong" Marcos junior yesterday rejoiced their client has finally grown a "thick, deceit-worthy face."
 
They exulted after seeing Marcos junior declare "what am I to say sorry about?" when his dictator father's crimes were alluded to in a TV interview early this week.
 
"Did you see that? He didn't bat an eyelash!", shouted one political consultant, part of an anxious team of spin doctors, child psychologists, speech coaches, evil shamans, orcs and hobgoblins gathered at a media "war room" in the Imelda Marcos 

Join the Marcos Club now!

Mon, 06/01/2015 - 07:51
 
 
Through Facebook, my number one source of totally accurate info, I discovered a post inviting people to pay PHP 250 to join the “Bongbong Marcos for President Movement.”
 
In return, the member gets an official ID card and (should Marcos win) a chance to earn up to PHP 1 million from “Marcos wealth.”
 
Is the post a joke? Well, one reason why it might be true is that it has the name “Marcos” in it, and everyone knows this is the leading brand when it comes to scams, crime and douchebaggery.

Loyalists: Solve our national problems - resurrect Marcos

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 18:32
 
 
Marcos loyalists have a simple solution to the country's problems: bring the dictator back from the dead.
 
At the brutal tyrant's crypt in Batac, fanatics have gathered to do just that.
 
Amid eerie rhythmic chanting from massed robed worshipers accompanied by the steady pounding of a huge drum, shrieking shamans called on the refrigerated corpse to come back to life. "Hear the pleas of your cringing worthless loyalist minions, oh master," they implored, pleas interspersed with bloodcurdling howls of "Marcos pa rin."
 
The rite was abruptly interrupted when the electricity shut down, and sounds of dripping were mixed with curses.
 
"The cooperative has cut off the power again!", yelled one of the unholy priests."Hurry you fools, pay the bill before master turns into a malignant puddle."

Manufacturer assures Marcos loyalists steady supply of lies

Thu, 05/07/2015 - 09:20
 
 
Marcos loyalists can be assured of a steady supply of lies to promote their idol, said a firm that makes some of the falsehoods.
 
"Loyalists don't ever need to worry about a shortage of shameless lies, baldfaced fabrications and mendacities to support their dearly beloved, malevolent and currently festering leader", declared Tool Furol, chief chair arranger and projector focus adjuster of the consultancy firm Indestructible Deceits and Jeepney Barker Enterprises.
 
"I personally guarantee that my company will keep them well-supplied with the outrageous perversions and dishonest claims they need to shore up their belief in our glorious and gelatinous Ferdinand."
 
He said he was making the announcement in reaction to "rumors" that Marcos loyalists were running out of fake info, falsified data and untruths.
 
"Those stories that we're running out of lies are -- well, lies," he spluttered. "To such claims, I say, stuff and nonsense, in the pretentious tone I use in my posts on Facebook."

Super Crazy Marcos Loyalist Claims

Wed, 10/01/2014 - 10:31
 
 
By now, pretty much all of planet Earth - and probably a few neighboring star systems - is aware that Ferdinand Marcos was a lying, stinking, thieving butcher.
 
This is something that doesn't sit well with Marcos loyalists.
 
"Aww, he's not that bad", they say while drooling on their alphabet blocks (the complete loyalist set, A to B)
 
Loyalists don't like hearing that Marcos killed thousands of Filipinos, jailed and tortured tens of thousands more, and stole at least US$10 billion. They don't like hearing how Marcos chopped up the economy, dividing it with his family and friends, and chopped up Filipinos when they complained or looked unhappy.
 

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