Martial Law

What you need to cure your sick democracy

Thu, 12/07/2017 - 12:45

by Alan Robles

Dear Philippine democracy, have you been feeling listless and sleepy? Are you sick and tired of human rights? Do freedom and liberty give you migraine? When you hear the words "writ of habeas corpus," do you suffer vertigo and nosebleed?

Bad news: you might be suffering from political anemia.

Good news: the pharmaceutical company DigongMy Labs, has just what you need!

Famous recipes from Martial Law

Mon, 03/07/2016 - 22:20
 
Recently, a Filipino cooking page on Facebook started spouting pro-Marcos gibberish and linked to the "top 10 establishments built under the Marcos regime."
 
You'd think that by "establishments" a cooking page would mean "resto", or "auberge" or even "carinderia", but no, it turns out it means "buildings". And the list isn't even complete - it doesn't mention the millions in sleazy kickbacks and commissions the Marcoses got for each project.
 
Anyway, what the FB page did is just plain WRONG. It's wrong because if you're a Filipino food recipe page, you shouldn't talk about Martial Law's construction projects: you should give examples of famous recipes from the dictatorship. Don't know any of those recipes? Well, lucky for you, those who experienced Martial Law do. Here are a few.

"What EDSA? What victims?" - Bongbong Marcos, in 1999

Sun, 10/25/2015 - 18:43
 
 
Martial Law's Human rights victims are motivated by greed. All they want is money. Wait, come to think of it, there probably AREN'T any human rights victims at all.. And oh yeah, EDSA 1986? That  was a "power grab."
 
Authentic words of wisdom coming to us from Ferdinand "Mini Me" Marcos jr 16 years ago, as reported in the Manila Times.
 
It was 1999, and the Marcoses were feeling very good about themselves. After all, not only were they back in power (Imelda and daughter Imee had gotten themselves elected to Congress),  Joseph Estrada had just won the presidency.  He was a friend of the Marcoses, and had said he wanted to have the repulsive dead dictator's decaying remains buried in a hero's grave at Libingan ng Mga Bayani. Apart from this, his administration was working on a "compromise agreement" that would see the government dropping all ill-gotten wealth cases against the Marcoses, who would be allowed to hang on to a generous portion of their plundered wealth.

Coup plot? What coup plot?

Tue, 02/24/2015 - 08:04

by Alan Robles

A group of people denied yesterday they were plotting to overthrow the government and claimed they were just hosting a "bingo social."

The group was surprised by news reporters who were tipped off by agitated neighbors that "something fishy" was going on in a certain mansion in southern Manila.

"Coup plot? What coup plot? We were just holding a weekend day of fun and games, anything wrong with that?" said the belligerent woman who answered the door as she attempted to block the reporters from entering.

After a few minutes, during which reporters heard sounds of hasty packing and furniture being overturned, she allowed the media inside.

Marcoses will just wait for all Martial Law victims, witnesses to die off

Mon, 09/02/2013 - 03:24

The Marcos family has unveiled a new strategy for dealing with its numerous victims and critics: wait for them to die off.

"We've decided that apart from lying about and denying all their accusations, we will basically outlive all those stupid people", said Marcos flunky Benedicto Maligno, chief of the PR consultancy firm Mordor Enterprises, Pte.

Remember what's-his-name?

Mon, 09/21/2009 - 08:00
 
originally published in SCMP September 21, 2006
 
Today, September 21, marks an important date ... except that I can't seem to recall what it is. Hang on, I remember: it's the anniversary of the day martial law was declared in 1972. There'll be the usual editorials and speeches about how we should never again allow a dictatorship; how we should never forget the tyranny of that strongman, Ferdinand What's his Face. No wait, it's "Marcos".
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